Partner was only diagnosed in Jan been given terminal diagnosis and I’m so frightened

I am SO SO sorry to hear this, my heart goes out to the two of you. Is there a reason to not update the family so you can get some emotional support, even if they can’t physically help.

Ive read a few posts now where results are issued online for the patient to find out/read without proper conversation. My mom was in hospital, she was told she had cancer but only on the discharge notes did it say stage 3 peritoneal cancer & I blurted it out after reading the discharge notes as she hadn’t read it. I assumed she knew!!! I then did a bunch of research myself (after calming her down) which scared me & I’ve not shared that knowledge as I don’t want to upset her plus, I just hope that the AI responses to my questions are wrong. We find out today. It made me so angry.

I’m thinking of you both & I hope that you’re able to get some answers to your questions soon. Do ring MacMillan & Maggies for support, they can talk to you about how you feel etc too so you’re not alone. We’re all here in your phone too. x

Thank you for the response. 
family- he doesn’t want to ruin their retirement that’s the short of it, however it’s destroying me. I’m exhausted all the time. I  carrying a very heavy load and if something happens before he tells them then their anger will be directed at me. Which I can’t say I blame them but I can’t go against his wishes. 

the meeting we were waiting for didn’t happen this week!! So that’s 3 week of seeing a report that is horrfic with no doc giving us a call or speaking to us. We went in for his injection expecting to see the consultants to be told by the nurse who looked like a rabbit in headlights I’m really sorry but the medical panel don’t happen on Tuesday did no one tell you? The level of frustration is way too high. The anxiety is to much the list is endless. 

im so sorry to read about your mum. Earning you strength and virtual hugs 

I’m so sorry to read this. It’s not ok that you found out the stage that way! 
My hubs has just been told he’s incurable and starting chemo in the next couple of weeks. He’s had it since 2018 and he was diagnosed 12 days before we were due to get married in the US. We changed our plans and married here in the UK instead so my advice is - get married! Enjoy spending time with your family and loved ones. Try to take each day as it comes. I know it won’t feel much consolation at the moment but sending much love to you xx

This happened to us last year. My hubby was admitted to hospital via a&e after being fobbed off by the GP for months. He hadn't been able to swallow ..if he did manage to eat liquid food he was sick straight away & was losing weight. After he was admitted he had numerous tests. He was discharged from hospital with a feeding tube. We were still waiting for the results of the tests although we were told that they were 'very concerned ' about a blockage in his oesophagus. We were given a copy of his discharge notes with all his medications on it & right at the bottom of the page it said oesophageal tumour. We had not been told it was cancer. It turned out to be terminal & hubby died 3 months later.

I hope you’ve had some updates from the doctors and it’s been helpful. Been thinking of you. 

Sending you all the love and strength in the world 

I’m so sorry to read this! Words can’t describe how you must be feeling

Not really, medical panel still has g happened with no clear reason why.

 My strength in coping has left the building I’m recovering from double pumonia and a kidney infection which is nothing in the grand scheme of things but I’m so drained and so low, I don’t even want to get up but I have 4 teenagers that need me as does partner. I’m finding  myself angry and tearful so I’m trying to stay away from people it isn’t their fault but I can’t help getting grotty with them 

I wouldn’t blame you for getting grotty, I’d feel the same. That’s a lot you’ve got going on, it’s going to take its toll & you need to recover to help the others. You can’t pour from an empty cup they say.  I hope you can find sometime to just decompress, even if it’s only a few mins each day. My counsellor told me to look at the 12 stages of burnout, I did ask what happens if I think I’m at stage 12 (not knowing what it is) & she said we’d discuss it at the next session. If I get some pearls of wisdom, I’ll share them with you. Stay strong, tomorrow’s a new day. x

I have since changed GPS & in the process of doing a complaint via PALs about his treatment (lack of) whilst in hospital during his last few weeks. It's been heartbreaking going through the texts & messages to my sister's & close friends during that time. I've been re living the horrors of the hospital. I can only read a few at a time to write a timeline of what happened before getting upset.I returned to work in February just to keep myself busy & bought a kitten & then her mum as the house felt so empty & quiet.