Hi,
My husband was diagnosed with cancer in July. It has been a rollercoaster as he's been very unlucky with health over the years. He had a breakdown 12 months ago and attempted to take his own life. The hospital didn't suspect testicular cancer when a testicle was swollen and painful, it took until weeks after he'd had the area drained in surgery when we found out he had secondary lung cancer, suspected to have come from the testicle that had been removed. We are getting cancer treatment from a different hospital now as we have put in a complaint to the original one.
My husband had a bad reaction to one of his first chemo drugs where he felt like he was being suffocated. He started, last week, the more intensive chemo drug (as they can't now determine which type of testicular cancer it is) and has had a rare side affect from that, where he become extremely tired then became delirious. He is now in critical care and when I visited him yesterday, first time with his eyes open for ages, I felt like he didn't recognise me.
On top of this my stepdaughter has decided she doesn't want to come to ours while he is in hospital, and she has kept herself away. Given her age I know this is normal but I don't think it's healthy and if her dad doesn't make it I don't want her to have regrets. Plus it breaks my heart that she doesn't want to see me or my family. Her mum has never got along with me.
My husband got a dog during his breakdown recovery and I am not a dog person, also disabled, so I am struggling with training and walking (lack of confidence).
I'm so tired, I do have a few friends but I don't like to unload on people that have enough problems of their own. Meanwhile there's much more to my problems than the current circumstances. There are so many places for support that I don't know where to begin. I am having person focused therapy at a local wellbeing hub as it's been noted I always talked about others when asked how I am.
I'm sorry I've rambled on for so long. If you've read to the end I do appreciate it x
Welcome to our carers forum, I think many on here will recognize the bit about talking about others, I know I sometimes/often do that.
You are coping with a lot, I know how difficult it can be being disabled yourself and then caring for somebody else.
I thought I was coping - until I wasn't and walked in to my local Maggies centre and through the tears brain dumped my story to date - including my wife having made a complaint about her care in gynaecology. They helped me form a plan for the next couple of weeks at least and we have gone on since then.
One of the positive things about multiple places for support is in general they know about each other, hopefully the wellbeing hub might be able to supply some direction there.
Do post on here whenever but remember you are welcome to ring the helpline is speaking to a real person might help.
<<hugs>>
Steve
