Hi,
I’m fairly new to these forums however am going through a really tough time at the moment with my mum who is under palliative care. It has been a long and challenging almost 10 years since first diagnosis to now. Her cancer was reduced, metastasised, then became untreatable.
Over the past week she has deteriorated rapidly, and is now unable to weight bear. We are caring for her the best we can at home however today she had a fall & I came home to find the dreaded hospital bed being set up amongst other equipment being delivered.
From treatment ending to now, it has been a year however it feels like this time has come in the blink of an eye. I’m very much still in denial and struggling to keep it together - being the strong one for my dad and family. This is alongside working a full time job and trying to keep my own relationship afloat. I really struggle with feelings of guilt when I'm not by her side, and feel helpless the majority of the time.
Would be nice to hear from someone who has gone/is going through something similar. Or just to have some words of wisdom on how I can best get through this time please.
M
Hi FlamingoM
I am Steve one of the community champions and my experience of cancer is via my wife who has stable but incurable Leiomyosarcoma - over 10 years since diagnosis and consider we are living with cancer rather than the alternative.
Some years ago though my dad had a series of seizures and each took a little bit more of him away. In some ways I was fortunate that my two sisters took on the majority of the care but of course that also meant some guilt that I was not there more.
Something I find quite helpful is looking at your feelings when someone has cancer as being able to recognize the feelings and accept them as valid can help to make them feel less overwhelming.
Sometimes in our journey I became quite stressed especially trying to hold down my full time job too. Fortunately my GP was quite supportive and he would help by giving me a break when things got too much. I was lucky that my employer paid full pay on sick leave so that helped too.
<<hugs>>
Steve
