Caring for your mum

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Hi - I’m new, and not really sure what to do here haha.

Honestly just looking for some people sharing a similar experience as me, I feel so unbelievably isolated in my community. And that isn’t anyones fault obviously, I’m 18 caring for my mum, none of my friends can really relate to that even though they’re doing so incredibly at supporting me. It’s literally just me and her, and I’m trying my absolute hardest to be the best I can for her but realising I’m slowly neglecting myself. Obviously I can’t talk to her about any of this, she literally has cancer lol she isn’t in a place to support me and how I’m feeling. It’s all just incredibly overwhelming. She’s been diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time. I’m doing all the cooking, cleaning, walking the dog, food shops, on top of trying to balance my a levels, and be there emotionally for her, which is honestly the hardest bit. Seeing the woman I love most in the world breakdown crying everyday because she feels ugly after the surgery is really really difficult. I think she’s so beautiful, but she won’t hear that from me haha. I’m in a really really low point emotionally, just wondered if anybody would wanna talk who understands. I’m also here to listen to what you need to get off your chest. 

Have a nice day :)

  • Hi lapis_lady, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. You're so young - my eldest granddaughter is the same age and the thought of her having to do what you're doing is heart breaking.

    Your A levels are coming up very soon (I'm a retired teacher) and they're very important. Do your teachers know what's happening in your life? They need to and I'm sure will do their best to support.

    I've been supporting and caring for my daughter through her cancer treatment for two years. I know just how tough it is. You sound to be doing a wonderful job  but you need to look after yourself too. 

    Is there a Maggie's Cancer Centre near you? They're great for carers as well at patients. Do investigate if there are any Young Carers groups in your area, meeting people doing the same as you would be supportive.

    Wishing you and your mum the very best. Hugs  xxx

  • Hi Lapis_lady

    Firstly welcome to this forum- so sorry to hear what you’re going through. It must be so tough to juggle care giving and your studies- I’m sure others will have good suggestions but I am sending you a virtual hug! 

    it sounds like you have some great friends, which is a huge help.

    if you need to talk, the Macmillan team could be good to talk things through with? And this group are here for you too, if you need to express things to people who are also supporting a loved one through their struggle with cancer. 

    You will have heard this before but do try to make a little space for yourself. It probably sounds like too much at this point! 

    Thinking of you x