My husband has GBM which has caused significant deterioration over the past week.
I ended up arranging for him to go into the local hospice 2 days earlier than planned due to his presentation. He was going to the hospice for symptom management, due to being obsessed with wanting to be put on the commode/ toilet, not sleeping and being generally more agitated.
It came to a head last week when he lost his balance during transfer and ended up falling onto the sofa then going down to the floor. It was an awful experience because he then shouted out that I had pushed him to the floor. He tried to kick out at me and kept making accusations. I pressed the fall pendant to summon help and he kept shouting that I had pushed him then thrown the wheelchair on top of him. Hubby was assisted up with the help of 2 carers and fortunately had no injuries.
I became hysterical crying and tried to tell him that I had not done what he was saying. I called a friend and then we made calls to get more help and arrange the hospice. I felt that I had let him down by not being able to cope.
since going into the hospice there has been a significant deterioration. He is now unable to stand and has been hoisted today. Doctors have spoken to me and advised he is really unwell, and the prognosis is weeks to months.
I have thanked them for their honesty because no one has mentioned prognosis prior to this.
I am absolutely heartbroken 
and terrified of losing him. Hubby is aware things have changed significantly for him, more noticeably with physical ability. The tumour is affecting frontal lobe so he is presenting with more irritability and lack of inhibition. He is quite paranoid and accusatory. I am watching the man I love slowly disappear and I cannot stop it.
my emotions are all over one minute I’m crying /screaming hysterically then I’m angry. I am managing to keep it together in front of hubby at the minute but I am finding it harder.
Sorry for the long post but needed to get this off my chest. This is such a cruel illness 
