Struggling

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I'm 19 and I have Autism. I've been looking after my mum since around 2017 with multiple conditions, but her Myeloma diagnosis has probably been the hardest for me mentally and I've been struggling to find proper outlets to ask questions or let my frustrations out.

I've been wondering if it was my fault or if there was something I could've done to prevent it despite knowing there's nothing I could've done.
Whenever she gets upset I feel like it's my fault, though I know its not.

I've been suffering with survivors guilt and I was wondering if there were any ways to help my brain to realise that it's not me that's the problem that works for anyone else. I feel so selfish for thinking of myself that I'm genuinely suffering.

Any help is appreciated.

Gill H 6 minutes ago

Hi love.

You've got absolutely nothing to reproach yourself about, ever. By the sound of things you've been doing a sterling job caring for your mum and I bet she's grateful and proud of you. Just hang on to that thought.

I understand about 'survivor's guilt', as I've been there many times, but I quell those feelings when I think of all the months I've cared for my fella and how tough it can be for us, too.

You sound really 'switched on' so abandon feelings of guilt, blame and selfishness and take some time out for yourself. You really need to do this or you'll go crazy thinking of what ifs.

I know it's our loved ones who are ill but we need respite from negative thoughts to enable us to give them the care they need at home.

It really is a hard knock life for all of us personally involved when cancer rears its gruesome head.

You're brilliant and I'm sending you positivity and a hug. Well done!

Gill xx

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