My son just got diagnosed with cancer of one tonsil and some lymph nodes on the same side, lucky it hasn't spread, I have 2 kids my son is 34 and my daughter is 17, they both have ASD and ADHD, I am so scared as I don't have a lot of help and I don't know how im going to split myself to be there for both as my son might have to have a feeding tube so will need to stay in for 2 nights, and I can't leave my daughter on her own over night but I need to be there for my son, im trying to stay as positive as possible but im so scared that something will go wrong and that he will suffer, I feel like crying all the time but im trying not to, I don't have many people to talk to so im finding things really hard, im so for going on, its just overwhelming.
Hi Caz777
Welcome to the carers group, I am Steve and my experience of cancer is via my wife who has Leiomyosarcoma. We also have a son, now 21, who has ASD.
Something I find quite useful is looking at the pages on your feelings when someone has cancer as being able to recognize these emotions and accept them as normal and valid I find it helps make them a bit less overwhelming.
Has your son had a needs assessment? You might like to get a carers assessment at the same time as that may help you identify support that you would be entitled to.
I ended up doing a living with less stress course that really helped me. I was getting very good at thinking about everything that could go wrong and it was stopping me from appreciating what we have and that was not helping either of us. The conscious breathing exercises are great too when life decides to throw us a new curveball but also good for helping me relax and get some sleep.
Hope something there helps, do post whenever as someone is always listening and somehow together we might help to hold things together.
<<hugs>>
Steve
