My partner of 7 years was diagnosed with bowel cancer 1 month ago, due to start chemo next week. On top of that she has been diagnosed with mild ADHD so you can imagine she can fixate on certain aspects of diagnose, treatment and the ADHD compounds fears that she has. Every day is a constant battle for me and her as she is constantly asking the same questions to me and others even though we all answer her questions. 90% of the time it is just me with her. Answering the same questions all the time is draining, i know i should be supportive and i am but sometimes i havent got room in my head for it all and go and take it out on the weights or go out.. i struggle with the frustration of not being able to take it all away and sometimes sound angry towards her because of it then im upset because i shouldnt be like that. Is it normal for partners to feel like this and if so what stratagies do others use to get through.
Hi Fudd
I am Steve and my experience of cancer is via my wife who has Leiomyosarcoma.
You ask what is normal - and my answer would be that you sound very normal for someone in the circumstances. Looking at Your feelings when someone has cancer I know I recognize a lot of the feelings I have and I find it helpful to be able to accept them as valid as that can help make them less overwhelming.
I ended up doing a living with less stress course that I found really helpful. A key element was not trying to look too far ahead, I was quite good at imagining all sorts of problems but mostly things did not turn out as badly as I feared but in doing that I could miss appreciating what we have in the here and now. The conscious breathing exercises are good too both for when life decides to throw another curveball but also to help me relax.
Getting out can be really good too, at one point my GP prescribed eco-therapy and it can help to go for a walk especially somewhere with trees and listening to the bird song.
<<hugs>>
Steve
