I’m an only child who has never been particularly close to my mum. She’s always been secretive and unemotional towards me. I lost my father 20 years ago to a brain tumour.
My mum lived in England and I live in Scotland with my husband and two sons.
Although aren’t close she would visit throughout the year and I would say she needed to move up to be closer.
She got diagnosed 5 years ago with kidney cancer and had a kidney removed. I took unpaid leave from work and travelled down and took her to hospital and stayed for 6 weeks with her until she recovered enough to look after herself.
Out of the blue after years of me saying move up, she told me she was going too and to put our house on the market so we could get somewhere bigger.
So that’s what we did, all moved in together.
Its been difficult from the start, everything had to be her way no reasoning with her.
In September an ambulance was called she had a bleed on the brain. We were told to expect the worst. I spent hours at hospital day in day out.. watching nurses start their shift and watching leave too. I never saw my husband, my youngest kept asking when he would see me. The bleed adventually went down enough to confirm the cause was a brain tumour.
Yes life can really be that cruel.
She had physio and got to come home the end of October.
Her whole personality has changed, she’s miserable, mains about everything. Complained I visited her everyday in hospital and says I wish I never bothered.
Ive dropped my hours at work so I could be home more with her and take her to appointments. She doesn’t contribute to bills even though she could.
She is so horrible to me and won’t listen when I try to say my feelings, she shuts me down. It hurts like I don’t matter.
I’ve cancelled days/nights out/holidays as we are scared to leave her incase she has another bleed.
She’s snapped at me saying my dad didn’t want me living with them when he was alive.
She complains about me to my son saying how horrible I am.
I now hide away most of the time as I can’t take it no more. I can’t talk to her it always ends up with shouting.
No one in the house is happy and the stress is affecting my husbands health too.
I lost what was my mum in September. This is living hell.
I know most of it is the stress (the dr said it’s not the brain tumour as it’s in wrong place).
I feel bad as it is my mum, but it can’t continue.
I tried to email my feelings but she is not interested.
I’m at a loss and feel it’s my fault my family here are so unhappy.
