Dementia

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I am supporting a friend who has stage 4 mouth cancer, she has no family. Her husband has recently been diagnosed with dementia although he is still classed as having capacity. My friend has always done everything in the house so her husband is incapable of doing anything. She has just started her radiotherapy and has been told that she will extremely fatigued. I don’t live near her and although I am helping as much as I can I am unable to be there to cook his meals. Can anyone give any advice as to where she can seek help. Her husband has a nurse from the memory clinic who visits once a week and has suggested respite care but her husband refuses to consider it.

  • Hi 1avender, I'm so very sorry for your friend. I'm supporting my daughter with her cancer treatment and my husband is currently having tests to determine whether he has Alzheimer's or Parkinson's. Like your friend, I do everything and just can't imagine how he/we would cope if I were ill. I can only suggest your friend's first port of call should be her GP.  There should also be someone to talk to at the hospital where she's being treated. You could also phone the Macmillan helpline on her behalf, they are always good. 

    I hope you can find some support for your friend.

  • Thank you, it must be so difficult for you coping with supporting your daughter and looking after your husband. 
    My friend’s GP is involved and her husband has medication but it is the day to day practicalities that are difficult. I will suggest that she asks to talk to someone at the hospital as I think she is going to need some additional support as she will get more fatigued as the treatment continues.

    I hope you can get support to help with your husband.