My husband has terminal cancer he was given 6-12 months 17 months ago and even tho I feel really greatful for this extra time I'm also so miserable.
I feel like my husband hates me he tells me I'm fat and useless I'm stupid nothing I do is right, I don't work enough hours but I should also quit work to be with him.
He looks at me with pure hate, he doesn't bat an eye lid when I start getting emotional over what he says to me and just tells me to move out of my own house with the kids. He's smashed up the house when he first got diagnosed, he did repair and replace everything a couple of days later.
He's was the most loving amazing most perfect man I've ever met but it's honestly like I'm living with a demon that's took over my husbands body and I feel like he's already gone 
The forums say to remember the good times but honestly they have all been replaced by cancer and how nasty he has become, he won't talk to anyone and I can't leave him when I know deep down he needs me, I said my vows and I want to stick by him but he's making it soo hard, I understand what he is going through is beyond horrible but this is no way to live
I feel guilty because most of the time I'm wishing he would just go, but in reality I just want my husband back and I know that's never going to happen he's left me with this monster that I have to battle mentally.
Basically i miss my husband so much and there is nothing I can do to help him or get him back and that's the reality
