My wife was diagnosed with terminal mesothelioma in 2016 when we were both 42 and since then has had various types of treatment. She is still fighting though has less and less strength. I care for her and our children.
Our relationship has changed over the last years, and we have grown apart as a couple. I now find that at times I am overwhelmed with despair for the life we have lost, and in particular that relationship. I long for the closeness and physical intimacy of a loving relationship, but it is physically impossible for us to have that. I then feel selfish for despairing over this when my wife has lost much more.
It drives me mad to know that the only way for our nightmare to end is for us to lose my wife. At times all I want is our old life back. I don’t know how to stop these thoughts, and it takes a long time for them to subside.
