Hi all,
my father got diagnosed with larynx cancer that has spread to his neck lymph nodes stage 4, he is currently having chemotherapy and has been offered radiotherapy which he has refused because of the side effects. I just wanted to reach out to anyone that has a loved one going through this as it’s really hard, I go to see my dad every night and do everything he needs me to do but recently he has been so angry and been really hard to be around as I am scared of talking because he just gets angry and shouts. I have tried to speak to him about it but he just says it’s the chemo. I love my dad so much and hate seeing him suffer but I am at a loss of what I can do for him to make this easier for him. One minute he wants to talk about cancer and then he goes mad telling me to stop talking about it. I am so worried for his mental health and how much he is deteriorating but I can’t bring it up to him as he will just get mad. If anyone can help me I would be very greatful. Thank you for taking the time to read my post x
Hi Becci05
Welcome to the carers forum though sorry to hear about what you and your dad are going through.
There are a great many carers who find themselves in quite similar situations, indeed if we look at your feelings when someone has cancer I know Is to recognize a lot of the things I went through. However by recognizing the emotions and accepting them as valid it can make them feel less overwhelming.
I know I got a lot of help from Maggies and dealing with someone who is struggling can be really hard, for me at least part of that was learning how to listen and especially to allow things to fall silent - having enough time so sit without talking can seem a bit unnatural.
I did a living with less stress course that really helped me. A key part was learning to appreciate what we have.
<<hugs>>
Steve
