My partner was diagnosed with Stage 4 anal cancer in October.
Like I read all the time on this site, it was a massive shock as she had always enjoyed really good health.
It has metastasized to her liver and from the first doctor she saw through all those since the news about her treatment being palliative is consistently repetitive.
At times it almost seems like they are worried she might otherwise forget.
She has been amazing really and has bounced back in many ways, tolerating the chemotherapy well (again numerous doctors said words to the effect "well - you could just have best supportive care" which again hardly lifts any spirit which might still be left) and eating well now and improving her exercise and energy levels.
She has a CT scan booked for the end of her chemo cycle and frankly we are both dreading that. My big worry is that if they say "there is no improvement" or "progression is worse" being given that message so starkly will be detrimental to her ability to have anything like a normal life and diminish her fight and all the good stuff she has done since first diagnosis.
I get the fact that they can't sugarcoat things or imply things are improving if they are not but I think there should be a declaration signed off by a patient at outset to say how they want news given to them. I can't see that it is helpful for many people to keep getting told that your condition is terminal.
Does anyone else identify with this?
I totally get what you mean, of course for the doctors the news is something that happens several times every day and sometimes it seems they have become somewhat immune to the impact they have. A fairly common event on here is when someone working in the cancer profession finds someone they love gets cancer and then feeling the issues from the other side can be really hard.
My experience here is with my wife's cancer but in both our lives we lost dad to a long lingering illness while both our mums died unexpectedly - even now I cannot really say which was more difficult.
Something that really helped me was a living with less stress course I did with Maggies and part of that was some training in living day to day. I came to realize I spent lots of time worrying about how I would cope in the future and it was blocking me from appreciating things we have.
<<hugs>>
Steve
