Heart-breaking........Torture

I cannot tell you how sorry I am that you have to face this. My husband has been diagnosed with OC but is on a chemo and surgery treatment plan. I am still terrified of what he will face and whether the cancer will recur. I also supported a friend with OC recently who, like your wife was given a terminal diagnosis. She too was determined to take the treatment offered and aim for the best quality of life possible. We contacted our local hospice and she was given good support and respite when needed. You will find, as I have, so many people on this forum with invaluable knowledge, information and caring hearts who will help you. There are also those who have confounded their oncologists prognosis. I wish you strength and courage to support your wife …… she is so lucky to have you with her. 

Hi top 

I really struggled when my wife was first diagnosed, in Janice's case with Leiomyosarcoma though she had a number of issues before that including sepsis that could easily have killed her.

I managed to find a living with less stress course with Maggies that really helped me. Part of that was recognizing that nobody really knows what tomorrow will bring and that will all my worrying about what the future might hold I was blocking myself from appreciating what we have. We also learnt conscious breathing techniques that are helpful when life decides to throw us another curveball but also in helping me relax and get some sleep. Transcendental meditation though did not really work for me.

What many carers find is that they need to remember to make some time for themselves, 

<<hugs>>

Steve

Thank you Steve,

Thank you Shortgirl,

I really struggle to come to terms with this. Every day is a nightmare.

Pure torture and very painfull. I hope your husband responds well to the treatments and has no pain.

He is lucky to have you there with him.

 to help in these awfull times.

Take care both of yous.

TOP...X

Hi top

I could have written what you said. My husband was told in September that he had 12 to 18 months, it was such a shock. His cancer, a very aggressive sarcoma came out of nowhere and is spreading extremely fast. He is quite chirpy but starting to feel pain due to the tumours in his hip muscles.

Like you, I find it overwhelming and scary. We are trying to make the most of whatever time he has, to enjoy and create memories, buts its easier said than done.

Its good to have the space here to share feelings, knowing that others are experiencing similar and simply understand. Some days will be better than others, so I am trying to enjoy the good days.

Its good to keep talking, wishing you strength in the dark days.

Thanks for the reply Malengwa,

We just seem to have bad news all the time. No rest bite at all. I cant make sence of any of this my wife should have another 15 ears of life as she was so active it really heart breaking.

And your going throught the exact same thing. I do hope your husbands pain is controlled and give him some resbite from this horrible disease.

Its good to talk to like minded people  as others not in this position have no idea at all what we going through.

Keep strong and carry on is the motto i think.

TOP.

I can relate to the bad news. I dread seeing the consultant now because every time, its worse news.

Is your wife having any treatment? My husband is having chemo but its only 50/50 that it will improve things and even if it does, it will only buy him a few months.

He is quite upbeat so its really hard to feel the way I do in front of him, its so tough being in our position.

Yes we just try to stay strong and carry on. Keep talking.

My wife has had radiotherapy targeted on the cancer to try and slow its growth but it has failed to do so. Also many injections of drugs to try and slow the progress, but you take one drug and take another to kerb the side effects, It just goes on and on but the one who suffers the most is the patient.

So now all thats left is pain mamanagment.

Morphine Morphine and more Morphine.

No hope and nothing i or anyone can do, Its Heart wrenching.

I just have to watch and be there for her  as this unfolds.

I feel for the family also.........This horrid disease.

I could have written this myself about my husband. 

I can not stop grieving the life we had, the man he was and I don't want to grieve while he's still here but I cry and beg for my Mark back every night. 

We can't even continue to make memories as he's immobile due to spinal cord compression. 

I have anger inside from the radiographer who denied an MRI from the first signs. I can't help but think he'd at least still have some mobility to help make these last months a good as they could be. Except he's in spiralling depression and pain. 

It's just morphine which on a night does nothing it seems for his pain. 

He was a tall, handsome, strapping bloke. He is thinner and thinner by the day and so withdrawn. I tell him I love him over and and over again but it isn't enough to actually explain how much he means to me. 

We have been robbed of our life together. Our girls will lose their daddy. We had only just started our life together. 8yrs since we met, 4 married and a 2 Yr old. 

I feel like we are just existing and in a way sort of waiting for the end. I don't want that. I want my husband. 

I want to scream, stamp my feet shout and basically throw a paddy to release all this emotion. But I have to told it all together all the time for him and my girls. 

How do you live with this pain. I don't even want to think of life without him but my gosh I absolutely hate to see this suffering.