I guess I'm here to vent since I'm feeling incredibly sad this week.
I lost my beautiful mother in June, six weeks after I gave birth. I am having group bereavement therapy with Maggie's and speak to cruse regularly but I've really struggled this week.
I try not to replay the last few weeks of her life in a hospice, where she didn't want to be. Sometimes I feel like I'm coping and trying to tuck the thoughts away in the a deep corner of my mind so I can function but I'm struggling. She was my best friend and when motherhood presents challenges I want to talk to her. I don't want to talk to anyone else, just her.
I miss her so much it hurts. I have flashbacks of her last breath and weirdly it reminds me that she's dead and never coming back.
I haven't dreamt of her which worries me because if we'd always talk and I'd like to think of she's at peace she'd visit me in my dreams.
My husband tries to comfort me saying she'll always be with me and out daughter, that she's watching over us. But I'm not ready to hear that. I want her here, with me and my daughter, going christmas shopping with her and her spoiling her only grandchild. But that'll never happen and it breaks my heart every single day..
Hi Joy20 welcome to the forum. I wish I could say something that would make your loss any different for you. Believe me I know where you are coming from in losing your Mum. All I can say to you is take the time to grieve her loss , its sad and like a piece of you has been ripped away from you and sadly only time can make that any different and the passing of time. You sound like you have some lovely memories of your Mum, as do I and I miss her and think about her every day and you will too and thats ok because she is with you and always will be deep in your heart and nobody can ever take thta part away from you so you get to keep that part forever. Sending some huge big hugs your way for now.
gail
