Husband terminal. Been ill a few years now so the news is not unfamiliar now. Give 2 maybe 3 more years.Only family member at the other end of the country and I'm not a people person and do not keep friends,due to a past life I just struggle to connect to people. We are far from wealthy people. But hubby has a pension which he says will enable me to get to my relitve and stop work(I'm no spring chicken,put it that way). Problem is he tends to wear blinkers! Even pre cancer. I have found that I will be left ALOT of practical problems to deal with on my own when he is gone. And he has previously shown himself to not exactly be a truth teller!!! And not great with larger sumes of money or bigger issues.He has not found out how much is in the pension .So I keep going full circle, Ignore it and go day to day,daydream that I can get to my only relative and be somewhere quite for my remaining days.Thats great for 10-12 months or so. Then I come back around to PANIC and I mean PANIC ATTACKS. Will I manage,Will I end up alone as an old lady stuck in a place with no one. Will I fall pray to con men. How will I cope if I need help.You know how you mind can play tricks I might be abducted by aliens next time round!. I know that I am just day dreaming to get me threw this and its the only way I can cope right now. I have asked him about the pension but he just says yeah yeah yeah you be fine. And he does not want to actually do anything about it. I do not feel I can push him on it as I don't want him to think I'm being greedy. I don't feel greedy I just feel like a ship in a storm with no safe harbour (if that makes sense).
Does anyone know what I mean...or am I selfish.
Hi Blahblahblah
That does sound like a really difficult situation and no you are definitely not being selfish just doing your best to deal with a really difficult situation.Of course at a time like this is can often be difficult to think very much ahead as just dealing with the day to day can be tricky enough.
Have you spoken to your GP about the panic attacks? I wonder if there is anything he could do to help you.
<<hugs>>
Steve
