The relentlessness

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so am sitting on sofa feeling sorry for myself- it’s just the sheer bloody relentlessness of it all - hubby has multiple myeloma- and he is probably at about 60% of where he was which I know is fantastic BUT and this is the selfish bit I look and think is this it? Is this our life now? Is it wrong to think please let it be over and him not to suffer - I dread it returning and robbing him of the progress he’s made. I honestly think that will be what gets him not the bloody fucking stupid disease

We’re young him 59 me 52- yet we live like we’re 75!!!! I have so little time that is just me which is such a change from when he was working- I still work full time as special needs teacher- he is always here and I crave having the sofa and tv to myself and not having to get up and get him a drink or to not have to sleep procrastinate in order to have time where no one is asking me for something

To all the amazing people out there on this forum who listen and support and see themselves in what others are capable experiencing YOU ARE DOING GREAT

London Lass 28 days ago

Evening, this is like you have read my mind.

I'm awake, the clock have gone back an hour and all I can think about is that my world is getting smaller.

My hubby also has MM - he was treated for prostate cancer with spine mets but they finally agreed to do full body scan and realised he was misdiagnosed. He is now not well enough for tranfusion, in constaint pain, has 9 new spine fractures even though he has done nothing since February.

He has spent 7 weeks out of 10 in hospital due to leg weakmess, they finally upped his meds. Our life is now blood test, chemo treatment and little else.

I neex to know that the 5-7 years they have given him is not him becoming bed bound.

Sending hugs to all carers x

Mulberrybag 27 days ago in reply to London Lass

Hi London Lass

hope you’re having a better day

I also find a pillow scream and a silent heartfelt swear into the kitchen cupboard works wonders!

all joking aside I also have a couple of really great friends that I can say anything to who then delete the texts :) hope you have someone who is just for you

This carers forum is also great as there is always someone who gets it.

sending you love and strength

Make sure you are kind to yourself

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The relentlessness