The Guilt - is this the end.

Lex1979 29 days ago

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Hi I’ll try to give brief snap shot. My mum has COPD and possibly lung cancer (can’t be confirmed as she too weak for intervention) GP has recently instructed palliative care at time this shocked me however she is 4 stone 11lb and on oxygen at home.

I have four children and in middle of a degree, Carers are coming in twice a day and then me at least once sometimes more. I feel guilty leaving her at night, I don’t want her to die alone. And almost hoping she dies in her sleep so she doesn’t suffer. But the guilt I feel for still caring on as normal outside her home is awful and I keep thinking how long will she be here which is awful because I will miss her terribly

Any advice would be appreciated

Cherry2 28 days ago

Oh Lex, I feel for you. I'm here for a different reason now - my daughter has a rare and aggressive cancer. But I remember the time when my mum had her first big stroke, which left her disabled. I was working full time, studying and had two young teenagers at home. My mum lived 100 miles away. Dad was caring for her alone, so my sister and I took it in turns to go down at the weekend and give him a break. I remember studying or marking books on the way down on the train and when mum had eventually gone to bed in the evening. I felt guilty that I wasn't there enough, and guilty about leaving my children so often ... as well.as the knowledge that I was often distracted when teaching my class.

But we can only do our very best for everyone and I'm sure you're doing that. Your feelings about your mum dying are perfectly normal - I know I felt the same. You must carry on with your own life as well as caring for your mum - your children need you, and you need to take care of yourself.

Sending you love and strength, and best wishes to your mum. xx

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The Guilt - is this the end.