How do we know when we are close to the end

Hi Peggy Sue welcome to the forum and I am so very sorry to hear what is happening for you. If he feels like eating or drinking then by all means encourage him. I think a call to your uncles Gp is also called for as they can get people in to  help and assist you with all of this and enable you to spend time with your uncle as you want to. 

Hi Peggysue83, and welcome to the forum, though so sorry you have to be here and your uncle has terminal cancer, I was in healthcare many years and did 5 years in palliative care, it is common to lose your appetite or just not feel like eating, just make sure there's some of his favourite snacks or drinks to hand if he should want one, it's difficult to offer the best advice not knowing his condition and treatment, can I suggest you contact your uncle's GP, and ask for a referral to the district nurses and hospice palliative care team, between them they will be able to give your uncle the best care, managing pain and making him comfortable and supporting you, showing you how best you can care for your uncle too. Peggy like your uncle my cancer is terminal and i have had the district nurses and palliative team for over a year and they've been so important to me, and hopefully to your uncle, PS, always talk to your uncle, just because he doesn't answer doesn't man he's not listening, talk about everyday things or special memories and tell him how much he means to everyone, and that you love him, and hold his hand. take care.

love Eddie xx

Sorry you, your Uncle and your family are going through this.

With my aunt we knew it was nearing the end as her pain was difficult to manage, she was asleep more than she was awake, she barely ate and was drastically thin, she was fully bed bound, barely spoke as she was too exhausted, her breathing began to change, she was often confused or talking gibberish when she did speak, she was very cold, pale. 

When always asked her if she wanted food and would try and prompt her to eat but it became difficult for her to swallow so if she didnt feel like eating we wouldnt push it. Though we'd try and make sure she drank water but when this became difficult, again we wouldnt push as her it took a lot of effort and there was risk of aspiration. Its ok to let his body wind down, part of that is they dont eat or drink much. The more you prolong things the longer the suffering is so dont prompt him if hes not able. All you can do is be a supportive and comforting presence, talk to him even if hes asleep, you can read to him e.g newspaper, have the tv on or play his favourite music. Focus on him being comfortable and pain management are priority. If you notice he is distressed, uncomfortable or in pain call the nurse who will likely increase or add further meds or a syringe driver.

Sending love to you all.

Thank you

Thank you