New to this and struggling

Hi Soobie 

I totally understand your feelings and frustration when the ones we care for don’t want to help themselves. For the last six weeks I’ve been nagging my husband to move more as he seemed to just want to sit on the sofa all day. Now, after a fall, he is in bed too weak to come back downstairs.

i spoke with our palliative nurse because after the nagging I felt guilty because he really is that weak and she told me the instinct to care for our loved ones, feed them, encourage them is natural - as is their response such as the eye rolling.
I hope venting on here has helped a little bit - I can’t offer any kind of solution other than to know you are not alone. No-one can understand what it’s like to care for someone in these situations until they’ve been there.

Sending you a hug and I hope any hospital stay is a short one.

Sending love & hugs to you.  

Its really hard on us carers.

When they give you a treatment plan and a time frame you  feel hopefull but the truth is the patient needs to be complient.  Not eating & drinking is an issue but they have what is the only control of their life.

My hubby is now 3 weeks in hospital and getting weaker, he is eating but his muscles are gone , he has symptoms which he now blames on tbe drugs but they are the same symptoms he had prior and no one seemed worried, blood pressure, leg weakness.  He seems quite happy, chatting to others there, getting fed and not getting moaned at for not doing the exercises the physio gave him

I'm.not convinced the hospital have a clue!!!!

Do something nice for yourself while he is in hospital and don't feel guilty.  Meet a friend, go for a walk or just read a book and eat your favourite things but don't feel guilty.

not sure  where you are but am willing to meet up if local.

Thank you, it’s good to know I’m not alone. Thankfully last night was a false alarm and his temperature went down, which was lucky as the ambulance still hadn’t arrived after 13 hours. We’re both pretty exhausted today and he did apologise for being angry, but I do understand why he was like that, it’s just hard to deal with sometimes.

Wishing you and your husband all the best 

Thank you LondonLass, it’s so flipping hard! Thankfully his temperature improved last night, so he’s still at home. While he was in hospital the last couple of weeks, I took the time to rest and catch up on some sleep, which was much needed.

i do hope your husband improves, but it’s frustrating when you don’t have the confidence in the hospital. 

sending hugs back