After nearly two years of trial treatment we were told my husband’s liver tumour was growing again and there was nothing further to be done. In June we saw the consultant who referred us to the palliative team and advised us, as my husband was still positive and relatively well, to get our things in order and enjoy life. He wouldn’t give a time scale as he said nature was a remarkable and unpredictable thing.
For two months things seemed fine - my husband arranged to stop work, we planned a number of weekend trips away and looked forward to making the best of things. However, exactly one month ago something changed. Out of the blue, while away for a few days, he stopped wanting to do anything complaining he was exhausted. He stayed in bed past 10, then when we went out would be asking to go back to the hotel by 3pm.
My husband is now sitting on the sofa all day wasting away. He has no pain but constantly complains of a weakness in his legs which is stopping him moving. He has little appetite and complains of feeling sick. Both the nurse and myself have offered solutions to help this. Various medications. Eating little and often and things that he fancies eating. Setting himself small targets each day to get him moving but he’s having none of it and I’m getting so frustrated with him.
He refuses to speak to anyone - when the nurse asked if he was able to speak about how he was feeling he just said no. He has no friends to visit as he cuts them off. I feel everything is on me. I knew things would get difficult but not like this. I feel I can’t cope with his mental state now and worry about what will happen when he does get physical pain.
I feel sad, frustrated and angry with him for not trying anymore.
