know it's the patient that suffers most from cancer, but does anyone else find it hard to hope with caring? My wife who I love so much has been on a different chemo for a few months now, but recently she has started getting nasty, short tempered, not understanding simple things. In turn this is affecting me as I have never been patient and now we argue over the stupid th9ngs. I am reaching the end of my tether.
HI Gary1957
oh I feel for you. The carer's role can be a tough one!
I cared for my late husband for the 3 years of his Glioblastoma journey and I don't mind admitting that by the end of it I was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.
A couple of years ago I wrote a community blog for MacMillan on this very topic. Here's the link “I’m fine”: how do you really cope as a carer? - Macmillan Online Community
In the final few months of G's illness he was on a daily dose of steroids and we quickly discovered that they made him nasty so watch that its not some of your wife's medication that's causing the behaviour change.
At the end of the day, there's not a huge amount you can do other than bite your tongue and perhaps walk away rather than react. Easier said than done I know. I often adopted a "3 strikes and he was out" approach with G.
We were lucky enough to spend a few days in Paris in the spring of 2022. It was eye opening for me in many ways but was the first time I realised how childlike he was becoming in certain things. On our last full day in the city, we were walking to the Eiffel Tower and he had a fleecy zipper on. He complained he was too hot. I said "take your fleecy off then". His reply "You're not listening. I said I was too hot. " Deep breath and I replied, "Give me your fleecy and I'll put it in my bag if you're too hot." His reply this time, "YOU'RE not listening to me. I am too hot." I gave in and replied, "That's a shame" and kept walking. Some battles you're never going to win and that one wasn't worth the effort.
Please remember that you're doing an incredible job here taking care of her so don't be too hard on yourself. None of us signed up for this job and we're all doing the best we can and that's amazing.
This community is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. There's always someone around to listen who gets it.
Deep breaths. You've got this
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
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