Mum passed away in the early hours of Sunday morning. I am heat broken 
my heart physically aches and when I cry they are the biggest tears. I spent the day with her Saturday till around 5.30 where my Aunt took over and I went home to eat. Dad and I came back at 8pm. I sat with her again for an hour and then all of a sudden panic struck and I had to leave the room. My husband was very good with me. I said I couldn't watch her take her last breath , the nurses had already said it could be tonight. I spoke to Dad and my Aunt and I said I'll go home and leave you both with her which I think was her wish. Dad phoned me around 9.30 to say she had had morphine and decongestant and that he had a feeling it would be soon. He phoned at 1.07am to say mum had passed. We drove back and i was panicking. Dad said it's ok ,let's go and see her. Something i wasn't keen to do,but felt I had too. It wasn't pleasant but in some way I'm glad I did it do it it was closure. I plan to go and see mum in the Chapel of rest. Thank you to everyone on here for your help and advice. I think if I can take anything from this experience is that I am stronger then I think I am.
All my love to you all
Flowergirl x
Hi Flowergirl,
First of all I am so sorry for your loss, it must be devastating for you to lose your Mum.
I lost my Mum to lung cancer about 7 years ago and it feels like 100 years ago and only yesterday at the same time. Like you it made me realise that I was more resilient than I thought and one thing that sticks with me to this day is that my Mum raised me to cope and be capable and it gave me a quiet resolve that I fall back on to this day. That’s the best way I can honour her memory.
Grieve your Mum, let the process happen in its own way unique to you, it will get easier to bear as time goes on
much love 
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