End of my tether.

Earplugs ahhhhhh!  :-)

I understand what you’re feeling! I am in a very similar situation. Nothing I do or say is good enough, and he will not tolerate any contradiction.I have bitten my tongue so hard and so often that I’m amazed it’s still attached. No advice but I hope it helps to know that you’re not alone in this. 

I've got this inappropriate laugh at times...I laught when you said "No advice" lol.

We can not be the only people to feel like this. Nope not possible!!

I bite my tongue because because I know his time is limited.

I've not been very well lately and I'm feeling mentally exhusted.

Oh, I understand and identify with every word. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, and nobody else sees the reality of it, because he's a different man with everyone else. I don't know how to cope, so I can't offer you any advice, but believe me you are not the only one living this nightmare.Sending you hugs and support; we can do this because, after all, what choice do we have? 

Hi i do understand what you are going through

My Husband can be so nasty it breaks my heart

and like you say he is lovely to everyone else so in my opinioun my husband makes a choice to be horible to me

and i am the one who has stood by him from day one.i want to leave but how can i i dont think my two grown up children will forgive me

Thank god I'm not going nuts or just a horrible person!

Hi Blahblahblah  100% I hear what you are saying, I am in totally the same boat as you!

• My husband can be so nasty and says things like ‘well you’re ok you’ll find yourself a rich doctor” (I work in a hospital) and “ you’re young enough to re marry” he claims he means it as a positive when I’ve asked him to stop saying it, but it comes across with such malicious tones it crushes me every time. And like wise he’s fine with others, it seems it’s just me he can’t tolerate! 

You are not alone

I think this is the side of caring for someone that is so totally hidden - hubby is stable at the moment but has bad days which I see, hear, experience ( and survive just) which he doesn’t show to anyone else - it is the relentlessness of it. The everyday everything’s that still need doing on top of holding it together trying to find 5 mi utes of me time, working full time and his family’s unrealistic  expectations of how well he is now - sometimes I dream of disappearing 

i always get from other people oh he dosent seem different.but it breaks my heart that i even feel like this when he needs me most.

i love him of course i do,but hes not the person i fell in love with that persons not  there anymore..

What i find hard to understand is why can he be lovely ,even dare i say like hes old self to everyone else but he has totally changed towards me.

i know we wont grow old together and the thought of that is heartbreaking but what i dont understand is why is he treating me like this with the time we have left.

i booked us a  weekend away and a nice meal last night.and he barley talks to me these days unless he is trying to correct me but he is always looking for other people to talk to.

We went for a walk yesterday and i have always walked slow as i have bad knees its never been a problem before .but he said yesterday he dosent like walking anymore when i asked why he said i am too slow and its me he dosent like walking with..He would never have said anything like that to me before but its like he is trying to hurt me.

i have always been a feisty person.so yes my reply to him was well i will go on my own in future,but inside he is crushing me because i am not a robot and it hurts.

sorry i have gone on a bit

You’re not going on a bit at all! Everything you say resonates with me too. Today is the anniversary of my husband’s stroke/terminal bowel cancer discovery. It’s been a grueling year where I seem to have done everything and nothing at the same time. Day after day of relentless criticisms, sniping, anger and hatred directed at me. Most of it behind closed doors. Recently, his physical condition has deteriorated and so there is almost nothing he can do for himself now, but he still complains constantly about my incompetence and uselessness.