Looking for help/advice

Hi Peter sorry to hear your news. Everyone is different In how they move through this, for me and my husband, he had colon cancer, emergency surgeries and chemo.  We agreed to be completely honest with each other, no brave faces if we were upset we cried but we have also managed a lot of laughs along the way. Getting used to his stoma was a whole nother level of toilet humour opportunities. 

There will be anger and sadness and grief but it's all normal and it's all temporary just be yourself and ask her what she needs from you if you're not sure, listen when she wants to offload and just look after each other. 

You will come out of it stronger and always know you will have good support here. 

Take care Deb 

Thanks so much Deb. Yes, we have honesty and humour (how good is THAT!). Thanks for your response - it’s good to hear your encouragement 

Peter 

Talking from experience, my mastectomy was in the year 2001, and the cancer had spread to lymph nodes (15 of them in fact) but I'm still here :). Think my advice would be to listen, let your partner off-load without thinking you're going to try and fix it. When I started to open up, my husband would put his 'fix it' hat on. Well intentioned obviously, but just wanted him to listen, to try and understand how devastated I felt. Hold your partner tight, tell her how much she means to you, and listen.... just listen. This is just a blip in life's road, horrible as it is, life will return to 'normal'. Wishing you both all the best. 

Oh my goodness what a wonderful reply. You’re right we do tend to want to fix it, us men.  But reality is we can’t - can only help. You make it clear that listening is the gold standard. Thank you!! Very happy you’re ’still here’. Good luck going forward