Loneliness

Hey

Im sorry to hear about your husband. 

Ive just been diagnosed with throat cancer. 

I understand what you mean talking with friends sometimes easier to let it all out with a complete stranger. Men can be that way never want to talk or when they do its overload. 

Ive just joined this chat and honestly i actually feel better to people who i dont know but have understand of some kind. 

Im here if you ever need a chat if you would like. Also little jealous you in Portugal

Hi I've just read through your sad post - please try not to be hard on yourselves.

You must call people straight away, good friends and family. You will be surprised how most of them will be there for you. Some might come and visit you both.  Cancer happens and we can't go through life with blinkers on . The friends will want to know.

Also it'll be nice to talk about other things not just your situation.

Stoic is that like trying to be strong and British stiff upper lip. I'm not sure what that means.

You need to let your emotions out.

• Two of my family live in Ireland so you can imagine how hard it's been for us all. but they try and visit as often as possible.

Oh yes i agree everyone is being great, im the type to try and just get on with it. 

Ys the british stiff lip i know it very well. 

Definitely talk about other things there is still life to live. 

How do you cope tho if you dont mind me asking?

Glad people try and visit as often as possible.

Thanks for the reply...I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis, I do hope things go well for you???

It is good to find this space...as you said, meet people who 'get it's... thanks for the offer of chatting whenever... likewise if you want to chat, please do??

All the best...

Btw, Portugal is nice... flip side is the loneliness though!!!

Back to the hospital Thursdaybt9 make my decision on next step. 

It is yes, always remember you not alone. 

Thank you for your reply...I'm trying to be more proactive and call people...I know it'll help!!!

I do agree that it is also good to talk about other things...I want to know what's going on in other people's lives!!!

My husband is not great at letting his emotions out!!! I try to be there if he wants to talk, but I'm now starting to think more about my needs and wants....that's why I joined this...

My husband had chemo and radiotherapy for his throat cancer....worked well. Good luck with your decision making, and whatever next..

Definitely it will, stay strong you will get there. 

Honestly i was angry when i found out just because i booked our holiday and ive booked a trip to Germany for the euros. I know health first but its football lol. 

Men dont understand thats what ive come to even my husband wont talk about any of this. 

From my understanding it does work on most, but i cant have them with being pregnant

Hi again. I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask how I cope. The early months of diagnosis and treatment were very stressful for me, my partner (who has lung cancer) and my family. A lot of tears, worry, loss of weight, not sleeping. But gradually I started to understand the treatment and realised it's a day at a time. My symptoms eased. We've had some good news about the chemo reducing the tumour sites.

One thing helped is that some people stepped up to show genuine concern and telephone calls to me, as I am my partner's carer. I started to try and go out for a short while with a friend just to talk about cancer and normal things.

I'm in a lot better place now , it's nearly 12 months on.

My family have helped me and it's brought us all closer together. I'd say we don't have daily talks about cancer but more about progress my wife is making. Putting weight on , she lost 3 stone.

There is a negative - some so called good friends seemed to evade contact and still do. These are people we've known for over 40 years. I put that down to they are scared, frightened of cancer and can't deal with it. So they wear blinkers and avoid any contact. Sad how some people are!