New to this specific group, just posting to get thoughts of my chest and get anonymous responses.
Wife was diagnosed with Stage 2 stomach cancer in July 23.
Chemotherapy has helped halve the size of the tumor, we had a recent planned operation delay due to the tumor mutating and make the operation more complex, we had to continue with more chemotherapy with a new operation date in March.
Friends and family always ask how Lou is doing, this is then followed up with and how are you, to which my default responce is I think I'm doing ok
All our children are grown up, youngest is 16, but all still live at home and I feel I need ro show them I'm.being strong, I do everything I can to care for Louise and ensure all the additional stuff in the house is done so she doesn't have to lift a finger. I continue to work and support my hobbies which keeps me distracted from just sitting at home.
The "I think I'm ok responce" is starting to bother me, I know I'm doing a good job and I think I'm handling it all well.... but apart of me thinks I'm starting to bottle feelings up with out realising, but now I'm realising that I'm not realising I'm doing it..... if that makes sense.
I talk to friends and family but I'm always saying the same thing, I think I'm doing ok, am I just putting on a brave face
I'm concerned that my bucket may overflow and I don't want to let everyone down
Hi Dougie2681
Welcome to our community and thank you for your post, I am sure it will resonate with many on here. There is a lot of pressure we can put ourselves under - I know because I broke. For me it took part way through trying to fix issues caused by Janice's first treatment of chemo. I walked in to the Maggies centre at my local hospital and it all came out through a load of tears.
If we look at your feelings when someone has cancer I can recognize a lot of what I went through. Then of course when I broke and people asked "are you ok?" and I said no - well most people did not know how to respond at all. My GP however was great and helped take a bit of pressure off by signing me off work for a short while until I got back on my feet.
Glad you are keeping up with work, I know for me how I felt vaguely normal in work as it was something I felt in control and was predictable. Keeping up with your hobbies too can be very helpful.
There are lots of tips that have been shared on here and do post whenever as someone is always listening.
<<hugs>>
Steve
