My mum was diagnosed a few months ago with advanced breast cancer. She's currently bed-bound in our living room at home, after a long stay in hospital recently.
I need advice in trying to give her tablets in the evening, sometimes she refuses to take them. She's mostly tired and sleepy to try to give them to her. She's okay taking them in the morning and afternoon, I struggle to give them in the evening. And feel pressured and relied on to give them to her, it feels like it’s ruining our relationship, like she's going to hate me for giving them to her all the time.
I'm also struggling with my mental health lately, not getting much support from family, being the youngest of the 3 in the family, in my mid-forties, I live at home as I’m partly disabled.
I'm still dealing and understanding Mum's diagnosis, it was all of a sudden and a total shock!
I went with her to her doctor's and hospital appointments at the breast clinic, Then not soon long after, she became unwell with sickness with stomach problems, which made her stay in the hospital for a long time. It feels like I'm slowly losing her as we were very close. And have never been told how long she's got, I know maybe she hasn’t got long which I'm trying to come to terms which is really hard for me.
I was asked by my Dad to be her carer before she came home from the hospital. He too was also in hospital earlier this year with an infection and before that, he had 2 knee operations. Also, I'm the one looking out for him as well.
It feels like I'm not getting much help or support from my 2 older brothers or my uncle. One brother lives miles away and doesn't come to visit that often only once since she came home from the hospital. The older brother also lives at home and goes to work, when I ask him for some help he does little or just ignores me. I also help out with my dad doing the housework.
I also struggle with my emotions, I just get upset all of the time, I keep having a few meltdowns by myself, and I have to walk away to have a good cry, I used to be like Mum who used to get upset easily. I’ve had to seek help, I'm waiting to get counselling soon from a local mental health and had to see my GP again last week, for my emotions. Sorry for going on too long, I just feel I have no one to talk to like I used to with Mum, we always leaned on each other for support. I have 2 friends I only text to, but they have their problems to deal with. I just feel like I don't have nothing now, I just feel everything is caving in around me.
Hi Cat123
Sorry to hear about what you are going through. I get the issue with tablets since my son has been difficult with that in the past - though recently he finally got it - just as well really since he has now got to take some every day. We used to have to mix them with yogurt and a number of other ways to get time to take them.
Sometimes eating and tables can feel the last thing people can control but when it becomes a struggle it is easy to feel as if it is our problem as the carer - just know you are not alone it that.
Glad to hear you are speaking to your GP and hope you find what you need for now there, no worries about posting on here though - I hope you feel you have found some new friends to type to and someone here is always listening.
As for being upset - you have a right to that, anyone would be in your situation but perhaps together we can help.
<<hugs>>
Steve
