My husband has stage 4 non small cell lung cancer. He has undertaken 30 sessions of radiotherapy and is currently receiving immunotherapy. He has had a consistent chest infection for 6 weeks which is not being resolved by anti-biotics. He has become very low in mood, is refusing to leave the home and looks at everything negatively.
There is only me and him and currently i am finding it hard managing his negative thoughts. He will not allow me to seek support for him as he states he is fine but he is clearly not and i am feeling helpless and sometimes angry that he will not allow me to seek support for him or help him address his feelings. He has a 60% chance of stopping the cancer but he is not able to acknowledge this and feels he only has a short time left which is adding to his feeling of giving up.
Hi Hugalf
Sorry to hear about your husband, this sounds really quite difficult for you and so glad you came here to share. If we look at your feelings when someone has cancer I know I recognize lots of what I went through including those feelings of helplessness and anger. In terms of his feelings it can be very hard when we think they will not do things to help themselves.
When my wife was first diagnosed she was clear she never wanted a prognosis and I really struggled with that. I finally found some help for me and actually when I got better actually was able to talk to Janice more about how we work together - it is of course her cancer and we were lucky in that the second lot of chemotherapy made her cancer stable - 10 years and still going strong.
There can be real benefit in talking - even just typing at each other - but until someone is ready it is less likely to work. I know it took a lot to get me to reach out for help
<<hugs>>
Steve
