My husband fell 18 ft off a platform at the end of August. MRI and CT scans picked up a 12cm mass on his Kidney and sadly a grade 4 Astrocytoma in his brain. 2 major operations in 4 weeks, and I’m struggling to process the incurable diagnosis. We have to go to hospital next Wednesday to discuss what happens next. I can’t believe he has two seperate primary cancers. We are still waiting in a kidney histology. My husband (of 38 years) doesn’t or can’t understand the incurable diagnosis, and I don’t know how to navigate this. I’ve never had to deal with any cancer in the family before, it’s going to be a very arduous road a head and my heart and body are already broken. Is this a normal reaction to devastating news and how can I help my husband cope
Hi Helenartist
Sorry to hear about your husband; in answer to your question about your reaction - yes very common, sometimes referred to as pre-grief
Almost certainly you are both going to process the news differently, I know when my wife was diagnosed we took something of a different route certainly with me finding more support through the likes of Maggies and Macmillan while my wife just seemed to be more accepting.
We have been lucky in that the second round chemo they tried seems to have rendered her cancer stable - it is still there but as Janice say it is not bothering her and she is not bothering it - our oncologist is really pleased.
It might help you to talk to one of the teams on the helpline here, I know I am the best help when I have my own emotions sorted and while I can be very good at helping others I might not be so good at recognizing when I need the help - perhaps not untypical of the stereotypical man.
<<hugs>>
Steve
Thank you so much Steve. I’m going yo look into ore-grief and reach out yo the team at the hospital. I’m so pleased that your wife is doing well after the 2nd round. Wonderful news 
