Hospice care at end of life

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I have come back to visit on here, to get some sort of comfort after my dad died several weeks ago now. I read a lot on here how many people want to die at home. I thought I would just say that though my dad originally wanted to die at home, towards the end, when his functions started to fail, how shall I put it, largely toiletry and eating, he himself, decided he wanted to go to a hospice. He actually had to. My family and I, we had no idea how to look after somebody who couldn’t go to the toilet. But it was a relief that he was being looked after, and for some people, it might be the right thing to do. It is difficult to broach the subject of a hospice, when someone has said that they want to die at home. But it is very difficult looking after someone who is so ill at home. I suppose everybody has different circumstances, but my family found it so helpful for dad to be looked after by people who know much more about what’s happening and what to do, than we would ever know. And we could concentrate on visiting dad and being with him, rather than worrying about whether we were doing things right or not. Just worth thinking about. If you are considering hospice care, you have to get a referral for the hospice from a doctor or a nurse. Do it sooner than later, if you think it is the right thing for you and the person you are caring for. I had the situation where everything came to a head on a Friday night, and poor dad had to wait until Monday before he could go into the hospice. That weekend was the longest of my life. Do it sooner than later, if it’s right for you. Huge hugs to everyone going through this terrible time.

Thank you for sharing, many of our cancer journeys take turns we never expected and I have heard many positive things about hospice care in situations very similar to what you describe. While not cancer my dad ended up in a care home while my mum died at home and really I still cannot work out which was easier.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Franniefanakapan 11 months ago in reply to src60

I think it depends on the circumstances of the illness. I’d like Dad to have been at home at the end. It was a bit traumatic and very sad when the ambulance came to take him to the hospice. He knew he was leaving home for the last time. But he was also very uncomfortable. And we could not manage his toilet issues. It was definitely the best thing for dad in the end.

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Hospice care at end of life