Hello, my first post on here, please bear with me.
my husband (50years old) was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer and also had a small ‘spot’ on liver in feb2022. Had bowel operation, didn’t need a stoma, then had liver op and then 6 months chemo. Was given the all clear in April23. Then in july23 started becoming tired again, had a blood test and iron levels had dropped (this was his only symptom last time) doctor arranged a CT scan and we had a follow up appointment at oncology. We went in expecting to hear it had come back but they would do same as last time. Unfortunately doctor confirmed that it was back in liver in multiple spots and was now terminal. Offered chemo which he started the next week. Sept23 was very unwell at home so I rang an ambulance who confirmed that he was very constipated and would probably require surgery. Had another ct scan and showed has spread to bowel, stomach, prostrate as bowel had wrapped itself around all organs. 2 weeks ago had bowel surgery to try and bypass the cancer.
he is now back home but so so poorly. He can’t eat, is very weak, lots of pain, painkillers just not helping. We have a 5 yr old daughter who is getting upset at seeing him in pain. I feel useless as can’t help him. Is there any advice on how to calm him, what are the right things to say in the worst situation we are in?
hi Bubbles2911 and welcome to our community though so sorry to hear what your whole family is going through. Feeling useless at a time like this is very normal - but I hope you feel you did a good thing by coming here and perhaps we can help a bit.
I don't have direct experience you have, though did have a very ill wife at home with a young son at one point. For your husband it might perhaps help to ring the helpline to see what they might be able to suggest - 0808 808 0000 and open 7 days a week from 8 am to 8pm - I have cried at them in the past any they are both helpful and very patient.
For your daughter - we have a guide talking to children that might be helpful.
Do post on here whenever, someone is always listening and together we can help hold each other up when times are tough.
<<hugs>>
Steve
