In 2008 my dad got diagnosed with a brain tumour. We were told it was stage 4 going into 5. However after surgery and radiotherapy he pulled through. There has always been a small amount of tumour left but it is monitored for growth.
We knew there would be some changes physically and mentally for him. He was medically retired from police force and Air Traffic control which took a toll on his mental health.
over the years his body has aged quickly due to the treatments. He’s only 65 But I find it hard to motivate him to get up everyday. His life for years has become watch tv and go to bed. He has falls and Stumbles often and been in hospital with multiple broken bones. The treatment left him with soft bones and osteoporosis. It’s left him where he can only walk room to room. I’d love to get him active and walking but I’ve tried so much and it doesn’t work. Im getting married next year so trying to motivate him with that but atm not working. He’s lost a lot of his life but he’s here today I just don’t know how to get him to see that and start walking. I’ve taken over most of his paperwork now and keep on top of everything in his life but I struggle trying to run my own home and job. Can anyone suggest anything I can do to get him moving. I’ve tried a sit down bike, charts, rewards, days out. I’ve stopped him driving as I think it’s a danger he can’t use his legs well. When he got diagnosed I was 16 and since then looked after him. But as years are going by I’m increasing more tired and stressed :(
HI Laura
a warm welcome to the online community. So sorry to hear about all you and your dad have been through. Thank you for sharing your story with the group.
I'm supporting my husband through his stage 4 brain tumour journey (glioblastoma) although we are now well into the palliative care stage of the journey. He was first diagnosed in Sept 2020. I can empathise with so much of what you've shared.
Motivating someone is a challenge and I wish I had the answer for you. I've found some links that might offer some guidance here
Supporting someone | Macmillan Cancer Support
Supporting someone with a brain tumour | The Brain Tumour Charity
Brain tumour personality changes | The Brain Tumour Charity
Coping with brain tumours | Cancer Research UK
I'd suggest that you have a chat with your dad's GP or medical team and explain your concerns and ask their thoughts. They are ones best placed to assess him as they know the full medical history. Are there perhaps even some support groups through your local hospice that could help? Our local hospice offered my husband access to a weekly support group with people in his situation and around his age. Unfortunately his GBM has left him with communication difficulties so it was an offer he was always going to decline.
Could any of your dad's friends maybe help out? G's friends take him for coffee or dinner once a week and other friends try to drop in a couple of times a week to chat and have a coffee. Just a thought...
This is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. I'm sure some of the others will be along shortly to add their words of wisdom and suggestions here. There's always someone around to listen who gets it, someone to hold your hand and to offer a virtual hug when it's needed. You're not alone. We've got you.
Please make sure you are taking time for yourself here. This is a gruelling emotional rollercoaster ride. I'm exhausted mentally, physically an emotionally after 3 years of this journey so shudder to think how worn out you are after so living with this for so long. I hope you have a good support network around you that help you keep your wee batteries charged.
For now though I'm sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of positive energy. Stay strong.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
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