So much confusion

Hi Nana,

I am so sorry to hear what your partner is having to go through right now and what you are going through with him. I can't offer you much insight or information but I just wanted to reach out so you know you aren't alone. My Mum has incurable, very aggressive lung cancer that has also spread to her lymph nodes and is now in her lymph system. She is also on chemo and struggling with the effects of it. Being told someone you love only has so long to live is so hard to take in and such an awful shock. Like you say, every time you feel you have hope, you get told something else that makes everything just seem completely hopeless. Then having to watch them suffer not just because of the cancer, but because of the treatment on top of that is heartbreaking. While I am not in the same situation as you, I can understand what that feels like x

If you need an answer to your medical question about the cancer being in your partner's blood, maybe you could try calling the Macmillan number and asking to speak to a specialist nurse? I have used that before to clarify medical questions and they've been fantastic. I hope you can get the help and support you need and always remember that you aren't alone in this. Please take care of yourself xx 

Valentina95, thank you so much for your reply. It was a real help and I appreciate so much you taking time out to respond. I never thought of asking the nurses. I am going to do that today.

Thank you again xx

Hi Nana

a warm welcome to the online community. So sorry to hear about all that you and your partner are going through.

This isn't a form of cancer that I am personally familiar with but felt I would reach out here and see if I can offer any support. My experience lies with supporting my husband through his stage 4 brain tumour journey - an entirely different set of challenges. I did check the online community and there is another group that you might wish to explore . Here's the link

Oesophageal cancer forum - Macmillan Online Community

This is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. The carer's role is a tough one. There's always someone about here to listen who gets it, someone to hold your hand and to offer that virtual hug when its needed. You're not alone. We've got you.

It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.

I've been supporting my husband for the past 3 years and we were passed onto the local palliative care team at the end of February. Prior to that though the oncology appointments could feel overwhelming, especially the early ones. Can I suggest that before the next appointment that you write down all your questions, fears and concerns and take the notes with you. They will act as a "script" but also help to make sure that you don't forget to ask something that's important to you both. 

Please also make sure that you're taking time for yourself to recharge your wee batteries, even if if its only a walk round the block or 10 minutes with a coffee/tea and a book. Taking "me time" isn't selfish. It's essential to keep you in the best place to support your partner.

For now though I'm sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of positive energy. Stay strong. 

love n hugs

Wee Me xx