I'm new here. I never thought i'd be on a forum. I don't know why - I know that they're great. I just thought I'd keep things to myself and I have a great support network. But some how I feel alone. And I feel I don't deserve to be upset. I read some peoples stories and experiences and it's horrendous. Awful. My heart breaks for you. My mum has had a double mastectomy and her breast cancer is curable. She's so positive and upbeat yet somehow I feel sad and tired and alone. We lost my dad to cancer 9 years ago and my brother moved away. I'm here only close family. I've moved in for a week or so after her surgery. She's doing great but why am I finding this so hard? My husband is my world and is amazing yet some how i feel disconnected from him. He has a new job and is travelling for work. We've been passing ships in the night for the past three weeks and when I do see him he seem irritable and i feel I'm annoying him. he keeps telling me not to let mum be dependent on me and that she has to cope by herself. I feel like i just want to care for her like she has for me my whole life yet i feel torn by what my husband is saying. I want to be in both places. I want to be with him but also I can't leave mum. I'm daunted by the thought of working, being here for mum and looking after our dog when my husband is away. it's nothing compared to other people so why am i so tearful. My friends brought food parcels and flowers. I'm not alone yet i feel it. She's doing so well but somehow this is still so hard. I feel unworhty taking a space here. I admire you all, what people are going through on here is awful and my heart goes to you.
Of course you belong here. Please don't doubt that for a second, Penny09.
Everyone's journey is different but we are all sadly linked by the C word.
It sounds like its still quite early in your mum's recovery so its only natural that you would want to spend time with her so please don't be too harsh on yourself here. I guess the key is to find a balance that works for you all. Maybe "wean" her off having you around full time gradually when you feel the time is right
There's some great advice on the main website about supporting someone with cancer that you might want to explore Supporting someone | Macmillan Cancer Support
It's also quite natural for you to be emotional at this time too. Hearing that someone you love has a cancer diagnosis, regardless of the prognosis, is a shock to the system and that takes time to process. It's the strongest and most resilient among us who show their emotions. By showing them it shows that you are processing them and dealing with them instead of bottling things up.
This is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. There's always someone around to listen who gets it, someone to hold your hand and to offer that virtual hug when its needed.
It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
For now though, I'm sending you and your mum a huge virtual hug and lots of positive energy. Stay strong.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
