Dealing with emotional exhaustion

So sorry to hear of your situation - we’re beyond the phase of investigations and assessment but know how horrendous this time is, living with constant uncertainty and anxiety.  To be honest, you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t feeling as you are. You asked specifically about managing your overthinking and fight/flight response and wonder if you’ve considered counselling?  It might give you some tools to draw on when it’s becoming overwhelming, and help with your exhaustion.  Everything is worse when you’re tired, physically, emotionally and mentally and I can empathise with your current struggles.  It might become easier when you have a full diagnosis and plan but this current limbo and powerlessness, is awful.  Sending hugs 

Thank you so much - great suggestion and will look at that. X

HI Kiki58

Oh I just want to reach out and give you a hug. I can relate to how you feel.

I've been supporting my husband through his stage 4 brain tumour journey since he was first diagnosed in Sept 2020. The  not knowing is far harder to deal with than hard facts. The over thinking and the fight/flight response are both totally natural.

Running and fitness are my husband's key coping strategies. He was a marathon runner and ran up until a few weeks ago. He's swapped that out for cycling on his bike/turbo trainer in the garage. 

I ran 5km a couple times a week up until  just over a year ago when I was just too shattered to keep doing it. I swapped my early morning runs out for yoga using videos on You Tube ( Kassandra is the yoga teacher I settled on) ending each practice with a short 10 min meditation  I find that helps keep me calmer. I also walk 3-5 miles a day most days but even a 10 minute walk round the block can help too.

I wrote a blog last year for MacMillan on how you cope as a carer “I’m fine”: how do you really cope as a carer? - Macmillan Online Community 

Journaling is my go to coping mechanism. Have you tried it? It doesn't need to be done in a fancy journal- any notebook and pen will do or even use a word doc on your pc. Just write out all the things you want to say, voice the fears and frustrations, vent. No one else is going to read it. Seeing the words down on paper takes a lot of the power from them and things can be less scary. I've filled several journals over the past 3 years and will admit that one entry, on a particularly dark day, was just a page covered in the F-word, It got it out of my system.

This online community is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here. There's always someone around to listen who gets it, someone to hold your hand and to offer that virtual hug when its needed. You're not alone. We've got you.

It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.

I hope some of this has helped,

This is a total emotional rollercoaster ride that can be gruelling at times. I don't mind admitting that after 3 years of it I'm exhausted  - mentally, physically and emotionally- but you know what sometimes its good to just have an easy day, chill with a book or binge watch on Netflix. It doesn't do any harm.

Stay strong. You're coping so much better here than you give yourself credit for. (You'll just need to trust me on that)

love n hugs

Wee Me xx

Thank you so much for this kindness and advice, some great suggestions here. I already love Kassandra for yoga! Trying to spend as much time outside as possible. I need to get back to journaling - started at the beginning of this journey, but stopped as it became a bit overwhelming. Will have another go. Thank you - it helps so much having this forum. Xx

Kassandra is awesome! Check out her latest 20 min video- she's in the middle of a field of pigs  LOL I use her  10 min chakra meditation to end each practice. I'm not the best at meditating to be honest but this short guided video is great. 

love n hugs

Wee Me xx