Mum was diagnosed with esophageal lymph nodes and kidney cancer which is terminal. This was only 8 weeks ago when she was able to walk toilet herself and generally manage herself. Now she is bed bound with syringe driver and a catheter but now struggles to realise she needs a bowel movement. She has carers 4 times a day which helps and I am grateful for. However when she has a bowel movement when I am alone I am struggling to manage to get her onto the commode and clean her up as she is so weak. I am staying with her now as she can't really be left over night but I am struggling and feel so guilty as I am failing how on earth fo uou manage emotionally.
Hi Alimumof4
Sorry to read about what you are both going through, I am guessing from your talking about carers that you mum had a needs assessment but I wonder if you had a carers assessment. Feeling guilty as a carer is really very common but is not much in the way of practical help to us.
I wonder if it might help to talk to one of the staff on our helpline about what help might be available to you both, especially so you can get a bit of a break and recharge your batteries because I know I went from struggling to broken and that did not help anybody.
There is some information on the emotional side of caring here that might help you frame your thoughts - I know I found looking after me quite difficult
<<hugs>>
Steve
