Husband is dying

Hello Koojie, Oh my word.  What can I say.  I am so so very sorry for the diagnosis you and your husband have received. It must be so devastating for you.  Do you have a good support system around you?  Family, friends?  Please accept all the help that you're offered. Remember other people will be affected by this news and will want to help as they will be feeling like you.  'What can I do?' They will also feel helpless and will take solace in helping if even in the smallest way. Make the most of your final days - this time 2 years ago I was sitting with my mother in her final hours.  It was so so hard - but I was with her and talked to her remembering all sorts of silly things we'd spent our life going through.  With dementia she hadn't 'known' me for months before this time but I still kept talking to her as if she did know.  That gave me a lot of comfort - perhaps you could do the same with your husband.  Please take care of yourself and accept all the love that will come from this forum.  Very sincere love, Zebra x

Hi Koojie

oh I am so sorry to hear that you got this devastating news. Nothing prepares you to hear that.

I'm supporting my husband through his stage 4 brain tumour journey. When he was first diagnosed in Sept 2020 we were told he was dying and had 12-15 months. They passed and things stayed stable til Nov 2022. In Feb this year we were told he had "a few weeks, 2-3 months at most"  so I can empathise with the emotions you are going through. By some miracle ( and sheer damn stubbornness) he's still here but I know this time we do only have a few weeks at most. 

At this risk of sounding cruel, there's very little you can do. Yes there are practical conversations you can have but I find it easiest to just take each day as it comes. Even that's easier said than done.

There's a lot of support on the main website (some of it practical and some of it emotional ) Here's the link. Supporting someone | Macmillan Cancer Support

As Zebra has said below/above, accept all the help that's offered from friends and family. Perhaps speak to your GP too. When G was told he didn't have much time, our oncologist passed us over to the GP. He quickly brought the palliative care team into the picture and while we don't need nurses yet, they call me once a week to check we're ok, he arranged for a box of "just in case" medication to have in the house "just in case" and also looped us into the local hospice. The nurse from there calls once a week and pops out every 3-4 weeks, Even just knowing that there is help 24/7 only a phone call away was a huge weight off my mind. 

This is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. As you've already seen there's always someone around to listen who gets it, someone to hold your hand and to offer that virtual hug when its needed. You're not alone. We've got you.

It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.

Please make sure you take care of your wee self here too. Take a few minutes or longer where you can to recharge your batteries, even if its just a 5 minute walk round the block. This is a tough emotional ride and after almost 3 years of it, I don't mind admitting I'm exhausted mentally physically and emotionally. 

For now though I'm sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of positive energy. Stay strong. You're coping so much better than you think you are. (You'll just need to trust me on that) And you will get through this..we all will.

love n hugs

Wee Me xx

Bless you. Thank you for your reply. I’m sorry about your mum. I have a great family, 3 amazing adult children. We’ve started reminiscing and it’s nice. Thank you x

Thank you so much for your reply. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. You e given me some great advice, thank you. I’m still numb from it all.  I’m not very chatty at the moment, but I do thank you. Please look after yourself xx