Crashing

I want to know if what im feeling is normal. 

My partner found a lump in his testicle and he had an ochidectomy to remove it. We went through sperm freezing etc. The surgeon sent the testicle away to be tested but he assured us that he didn't think it was cancer. It was all "just in case".

All this from start to surgery was 4 weeks.

We waited almost 2 weeks for the results of the tests but had a positive outlook because of what the surgeon had said to us.

Then we were referred to oncology. Where we were told that it was cancerous and that it looked as though it had spread to a lymph node. Prepped for chemo, all consents signed. 

Another week full of appointments and a repeat CT scan.

My partner and I crumbled at the thought of chemo and over this week there were lots of tears and lashing out because he couldn't cope so went and got drunk a lot (I know this isn't right, but couldn't stop him)

3 days before chemo is due to start we get a phone call from the cancer nurse, the second CT scan shows that the inflammation on the lymph node has reduced, they are regrading the cancer to stage 1 and chemo no longer required.

Brilliant.

So why do I not feel happy? I just feel exhausted, numb and I can't stop crying. Am I losing my mind or just feeling all the things I've not been able to over the last 8 weeks?