We found out 3 weeks ago that my dad (60) has terminal colon cancer that has spread (in the doctors words) like a dandelion. The doctor told us that weekend to prepare ourselves for that weekend being my dads last. I moved home to help with my dad and be there for my mum too, my whole life has turned upside down a bit. At first, I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't sleep, I felt destroyed. However, since I've moved home, I've felt really numb. I haven't cried in a couple of days, and I feel really guilty but I don't understand how to switch auto pilot off. It's all been so fast and there have been so many changes that I think I may be in denial or shock despite my initial reaction. My dad hasn't cried once, and I want to be strong for him, as I know deep down it must be frightening. My mum is struggling with everything too - they've been together for 40 years and I don't know how to help her. My dad doesn't want any external help, and when we suggested a nurse came by today, he got angry which was upsetting. I'm just not sure how to reconnect with my feelings, otherwise I know it's going to be so much harder down the line. Has anybody else had this coping mechanism and how did you get through it? Thank you in advance for any words.
Hi Rbt
Sorry to hear about what your are going through, you are showing great concern for the rest of your family and it is important to recognize the importance of being kind to yourself too - I know I had to learn that the hard way.
Sometimes our loved ones feel nurses coming in to the home can make things less like home and more like hospital and that can be unsettling. I know when my wife came home from hospital after her sepsis we had daily visits from the district nurses and most very wonderful though one was a bit - well you could come to the surgery for this. The big plus for me was that the nurse showed me how to look after her wound and meant I could cover things like Christmas day.
I wonder if it might help you to talk to someone on our helpline, it is a free call and open 8am to 8pm 7 days a week.
<<hugs>>
Steve
