So my husband had an ELAPE and coccyx removal for rectal cancer 3 weeks ago now, which was almost a year to the day he was diagnosed! He had his stoma fitted almost a year ago. He’s doing really well and the wounds are healing slowly. The only thing is he’s so optimistic and I’m not! He says they’ve cut it out and now he can recover. I just can’t look ahead and just living in the moment. I’m exhausted and reluctant to get excited till we get another scan. Plus he’s got another 3 months of chemo. He’s making these big life decisions but I just want our old life back! It sounds really selfish but I’m sick of everyone asking me how he is. I’m so proud of how well he’s coped. We’ve always tried to remain optimistic but I think I have cancer fatigue!
Hi A48
You do not sound selfish to me though as much as we might like none of us will get that old life back - so how we cope with our new life - it might even be better. I know how with Janice and I we have more appreciation for life and also we have had really useful talks about how sometimes she just wants to talk while I might want to fix more than listen - not an atypical male/female model of course.
What really helped me was a living with less stress course. I was able to focus more on the here and now and enjoy the moment rather than worrying about the next scan and how I would cope after she had died - well she is still here. The conscious breathing exercises were great too both for relaxing but also dealing with the odd curveball life throws our way. Transcendental mediation though did not really work for me.
<<hugs>>
Steve
