Hi all
I'm new to the group but realise I need some support big time as I'm overwhelmed, overload and bloody exhausted.
It started last year, my mum died, I'd been caring for her for donkeys years and after all of that covid got her....
My best friends mum died a couple of weeks ago. I saw her a few days before she passed away, she had liver cancer and I keep thinking back to how she looked, I've known her for over 30 years, I knew she was dying, she said to me she was going to see my mum for a cuppa....
At the same time within a couple of days my aunt who I am close to was diagnosed with terminal cancer, it's invaded her body massively, lungs, stomach, bones etc etc. In a matter of weeks she has gone from walking around and although taking things slowly and relying on a lot of pain medication to being wheelchair dependent, there's a tumour on her spine and it's going nuts, she's lost sensation in her legs.
I've started to spend a lot of time there with her and her partner, I clean I organise apts, but she's getting very confused and I'm extremely worried its gone to her brain....
I'm just at a point of pure burn out. It's 6am, I haven't slept a wink, my head is going round and I don't know which side is up anymore. I want to support my best friend like she did me but I feel like she is avoiding me because I just don't have much support left to give.
I would generally light a cig if I felt overwhelmed but I know for my son I want to be around as long as I can be and really don't want to end up like my aunt who gave up 3 years ago after loads of years being a heavy smoker... I've got the nicotine patches on, I have a vape, I have a bloody headache that's purely stress induced. I know I have to keep going for my aunt, there's no way I can crumble now, my family are close but we've been through so much crap recently I don't want to add to their stress.
I'm just overwhelmed I suppose and I'm hoping writing or typing it out will be a healthy way to keep afloat. Any other tips would be very much appreciated, I've continued with the caffeine and Internet shopping addictions so am being kind to myself in some respects...
Just needing to feel like I'm not alone in this living hell...
