Feeling Lost

Hi Rebecca, I'm going through the same process with my mum, who is receiving palliative care for her lung cancer, which has spread to her bones. Sadly her diagnosis has come far too late for treatment. We only got the diagnosis last month after noticing that things didn't seem quite right since late last year.

I hope you find lots of support on these forums. People can point you to where to get support, either to research online, reach out to people, or just to keep you going through difficult days. Do make sure you have a point of contact for your mum however - the specialist nurse for anything hospital-related, your gp/community nurses for care at home, and macmillan if you need help or signposting with anything else.

I wish you all the best in your journey.

Hi Mav,

Thank you for writing, it really does help to speak to people experiencing the same. How are you both managing?

For us it has been difficult, mainly due to short timescales between my mum's decline in health, loss of quality of life, then the scans and diagnosis. Then we've had to process the news, deal with arranging meds, carers, appointments, phone calls, visitors, pain management, trying to be strong, and not being strong, all at the same time.

This are moving quickly which is bad regarding my mum's health, but good for the support we're getting. MacMillan sorted the attendance allowance for us, community nurses and palliative nurses for at-home care and pain management, occupational health for aids (which are quickly redundant with each passing day) and then the GP, prescriptions which change all the time, my dad's health and mental health, and then not knowing what each day will bring. 

It's hard, but you carry on. One day at a time, to be there for mum and to make the most of the situation we're faced with. The worst part is perhaps the daily waking up, then the remembering that this is real and not some awful nightmare.

Your journey will be different to mine, so don't read too much in to my own story. I'd say get rest, take time for yourself, eat well and keep your energy and strength up, take all the help you're offered (from professionals, friends and family) and take each day as it comes.

There's lots of other people on the same journey as me here, and my mum. Reading how people manage has been a great help to me during this time. I hope it helps you too.