My mum had breast cancer 7 years ago…..2 years ago she developed secondary breast cancer in her spine we were told it was manageable but incurable so my beautiful mum has been through so many different combinations of chemo and last year the tumours had made their way into the liver - in November the oncologist tried a new drug called Pikray side effects were diabetes and my mum struggled with side effects of insulin and blood sugar levels. The pikray didn’t work and after her last pet scan on Friday we got the devastating news that it had gone too far in liver and she has been given 3-6 months. Since coming off the pikray she’s felt so much better and looks fabulous it just makes no sense. She is the centre of my universe and my best friend…I have an 18 year old son who adores her and we do so much stuff with her and my step dad
our world has broken along with our hearts - she wants to make memories and has put the numbers out of her head and I can’t believe how brave she is - I’m a single mum but have amazing friends but I can’t hear the phrases ‘enjoy every moment with her’ ‘be strong’ because I feel the least strong I have ever felt…….my son well we all are still in shock and he keeps eating then throwing up…..I’m a teacher and thank god it’s half term but I can’t imagine going back to school right now…..I literally see my mum most weekends and after school as she and my step dad look after my dog for me……I keep taking deep breaths and saying she’s still here but I feel like I’m grieving already
sorry for unloading here but I’ve got my son some help with a counsellor he has seen before but I just don’t know how I’m going to get through this…..I keep hearing about people that have outlived the doctors numbers which obviously I want to hold on to
my mum said sorry to me on Friday that I’ve got to go through this how can she say sorry to me - she is so bloody brave and I keep thinking if she can get up and get dressed every day we’ve got to do the same but at this time for the last few nights I literally think I’m going to throw up or my head will explode - I joined this group in the hope (not hope I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy) that someone else is going through or has gone through this and has any coping strategies x
Hi Cella88
Thanks for posting, you are going through so much totally not surprised about how you are feeling - as for unloading here - we all need to do that from time to time.
A prognosis is at best an educated guess and of course as you note there is always a question of quality of life too - glad I have never had to be in the position of making decisions.
For the impact on us of course - if we look at Your feelings when someone has cancer we can see how boringly "normal" we are - in that weird world of normal we now live in anyway.
My go to after I broke was a living with less stress course, learnt to live in the moment because I was able to imagine every disaster going and that really did not help me. The conscious breathing exercises were great both for dealing with the unexpected but also for getting some sleep as they help me relax.
Post on here whenever but remember if it might help you ring the helpline as it it there for everyone.
For work you might like to talk to one of our work support advisors too - that can be very helpful.
<<hugs>>
Steve
