Reaching out

When my husband first got diagnosed we were all terrified about the side effects of chemo. Try not to think about what might happen, you cannot deal with a problem that hasn't happened yet. Most of our fears regarding side effects didn't happen. I have children your age as well and it has been really difficult for them seeing their dad sick. Nearly a year down the line, we have realised you cannot cope if you keep thinking about what might happen or imagining the worst. You just have to live day to day and enjoy the good times as much as possible. 

Hope that help a little x

Hi iris993

i can relate to everything your saying going through exactly the same with mum who has been diagnosed with stage 4 and  been 8 weeks of going through scans, biopsies etc and now just got started this week with some treatment.     It’s an emotional rollercoaster.  Theres the shock at the start of it my Mum only went into a&e at end of nov because of pain in her back and ct came back with cancer!     To say we have been shocked to the core is an understatement!    Your head is so full of questions and wanting to get information to help your parent it becomes all you can think of.  

 I’m not much of a cryer but since November I have cried every single day because of the devastation it has caused to us as a family.  I wouldn’t wish this on anyone and I have to say this community has been a godsend to me.  I am very grateful for it.    As you say your mind does go to dark places it’s with you constantly but I try not to show this to mum obviously as I’m trying to do my best to help her emotionally & practically and since we finally spoke to her oncologist on Thursday so we now have all the info so are just wanting to get on with it  and deal with any side effects she might encounter which fingers crossed won’t be many.

 I have not really been speaking to friends as not many have been through this with their parents so I’m finding coming on here is a great source of comfort to me.      What I’m trying to do is take some positives out of every day and try not to think of things too far ahead which to be honest is quite difficult for  me as I’m a natural born worrier so since all this happened I’m trying to train my mind to  concentrate on the here and now and one day at a time.     I’m trying to be in control of what I can be.       I wish you & your dad the best with starting his treatment and if you want to talk I’m always here.   Take care 

Hey Binijac. Thanks so much for your reply and yes it sounds like we are in really similar situations. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too, it’s just so so awful and draining and scary. 

I’ve requested a friendship, maybe we can private message and stay in touch. Here if you ever went to chat x

1. Thank you xxx 

Hey that’s me accepted iris993.   Yes definitely! 

Hey, 

I'm a similar age to you (32) and caring for my Mum who was diagnosed towards the end of last year.

I feel completely the same, it's been such a roller-coaster few months. She's currently having chemo, with radiotherapy to follow. 

Its such a scary and hard time isn't it? I can completely understand how you must be feeling.

Here if you need to talk. 

hi i know how scary it is my wife of 58 years old as been diagnosed with lung pancreas and nodes in her chest she started chemo last week but its never cureable just treatable im scared she might not make it long but i can see stength daily in her , i do hope your father has as much time with you as possible its so hard i know and recently only last november my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer ,she had them removed no chemo needed thankfully but she must test now regulary ,,I HATE CANCER as im sure you all do to ,i hope everything is ok for you.