Scared partner

We are in a similar situation but a bit further down the road. My husband didn’t want to ask the how long question but I felt I needed to.  The consultants/nurses were happy to talk to me separately and answer all the questions I had. And have you been referred into your local palliative care team yet? We have an excellent palliative care nurse who has linked us up with all the local services eg the day care hospice which can arrange counselling (not that my husband has been up for this) and occupational therapists etc. I suppose I have coped so far by focussing on practical matters - eg aids to make life more comfortable - but really that just avoids thinking about the fear and my poor husband does find that difficult I know. I really hope you have some support locally. Sending hugs. 

Thanks happy camper, I think I will be in touch with our nurse, she was helpful and maybe another visit would be useful

my husband also has stage 4 prostate cancer and it looks like he has relapsed only 3 months after finishing chemotherapy. Not the best Xmas news!  I know mine is scared as well despite his Christian faith, he is worrying more about us and how we will cope. He has always been a strong person and it is really sad to see him like this. I think it is important to acknowledge the fear and try to talk openly if you can. Our local hospice team have been supportive as well so definitely worth getting in touch. 

Thanks, it is so sad to see those who are normally strong brought down by this horrid disease. I think I have managed to get him to see the nurse and chat, I hope this will help

Sadly me too.. my hubby has stage 4 advanced prostate cancer and although he has been doing well for 18 months on Arbiterone he has been discharged from a brief stay in hospital with severe back pain and abdominal pain. It’s been hell. He’s now started rectal bleeding and I will call the nurse in the morning. 
Im heartbroken and he is scared. I love him so much .. 18 years together and I’m fearing the worst. 
move lost my mother, father, best friend and now this in two years. life can be so cruel

So sorry to hear this Louli. It’s tough in the prostate partners club - things can go along quite happily for a bit and then our dear partners are ill and I certainly lose all my equilibrium when that happens. I do hope they manage to control the bleeding. Have they offered  him palliative radiotherapy for the back pain?

sending hugs

Thank you so much… that’s exactly how I feel… equilibrium out the window whenever he has a new symptom. it’s utterly terrifying.

we have been told an ambulance will come today but still waiting… to call 999 if bleeding comes back but so many poor souls worse than us and ambulances can’t get their patients into hospital for hours. So no vehicles. 

I will keep you posted. Private hospital will investigate if he is stable by Wednesday. Fingers crossed. I think if you are stage 4 you are at the back of the priority list. It’s hard.

much love to you,

Louli xx

I've just started this journey with my husband and we are Christians too.  Unfortunately it does nor give us protection from life's issues but I hope in dark times you will feel that You are not alone.  Whilst it's hard to pray right now.  Hopefully others will hold you up in prayer.  

Thank you! Yes I find it hard to pray .. it’s like being paralysed but faith is strong. I see many blessings in this trial too. 

the worst thing is the anticipatory grief .. it screws up your head. Thinking too far ahead etc.. 

here’s to a quiet night. 
bless you all.. 

Xx

Sorry no radiotherapy yet.. xx