New to caring and cancer

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Hi everyone

My names lorraine and 2 and half weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer in his pancreas liver and kidneys. He had a stroke last October which left him non verbal. I can understand him usually but not always. He has gone so downhill in the last 2 weeks  we are still trying to get his pain medication right . I also look after my mum who is ok in herself but they are both 85. I am finding the emotional side of caring difficult as I am trying to stay strong for all if us . I feel like I'm muddling along even though everyone says I'm doing well. I feel I need more support but don't know what anyone can do to help 

  • Hi Lorraine, I am in exactly the same situation…..a week ago my dad got the diagnosis of pancreatic cancer with secondaries in his lungs. I have gone from planning a family cruise to a full time carer in that time……I’m now stepping in to support mum….

    dad is staying with me as logistically that is easier….

    lim an only child….and I feel I am now holding up 2 elderly parents…..

  • It feels good to know its not just me although I would not inflict this on any family. I live with my parents so thats  a bonus   I think !!!. But it's the not knowing how things are going to progress and trying go get the pain management right . He won't eat , gets angry sometimes  he has been the most laud back person iv ever known,  so anger us strange.  He's not violent he just shouts. Plus since his stroke last year he can't talk . I can understand him most of the time buts it's difficult for me and frustrating for him 

  • Hi Lorraine64, have you got any outside help coming in that can help you with the hands on work? 

  • Have you asked at your local hospice & have you registered yourself as a carer with your doctor & age uk.

     

    Jodie97

    Sending big hugs to you all

  • Hi everyone I got lots of help Friday the nurse gave dad a driver for continuous pain relief.  Sadly he passed this morning which was a blessing for him but still heartbreaking 

  • So sorry for your loss Lorraine64. Like you say, a blessing for him but heartbreaking for you , your mum and family. X