My mum

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My mum was diagnosed back in March very unexpectedly with Gaul bladder cancer. My mum is my world my life and my best friend so the news hit like a bus!
we faced every challenge that came with it and started chemo with a positive attitude although we knew her prognosis was terminal. It started well but she was then admitted back to hospital with other illness and complications. She has only just came out of hospital and we are Very away that we are into month 5 since her diagnosis with only 2 sessions of chemo which probably made no difference. Her prognosis without chemo(where we are probably at was 6-9moths)

her pain is getting worse her bad days are outweighing the good and I am starting to notice progressive symptoms(yellowing of the skin fatigue and vomiting) Iv researched these when she was diagnosed to know what to look out for.
I am a very realistic person even in the most difficult situations so I am very awar what is to come and what is going to happen but seeing it in front of my eyes being mums main career and her closest person is the hardest thing I have ever done. Seeing her still loving my little boy and how much she loves him hi but asp seeing the sadness in her eyes as she know what is to come breaks my heart!
I just genuinely don’t know how I am going f to continue without her! I will go on I always will and my little boy and my family are the main reason for that but the pain I already feel knowing I’m going to loose her before it has already happen is unbearable. How will k continue and cope when she has gone. I just don’t know how my life will ever e be same again.

I know this is a really long post but please any one who has advice or in similar situation pleas each out because I really need someone to talk to!!
xx

src60 over 2 years ago

Hi Tillymint

So sorry to read your story - not long at all

In your circumstance what I would really suggest is you ring our helpline here - https://www.macmillan.org.uk/get-support as you can then talk to our expert team. I have certainly cried at them in the past and they are very patient and helpful.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Trevi over 2 years ago

Hi Tillymint, sorry you find yourself in this situation. Its the hardest thing I've ever had to do too. My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer last year and we nursed him as long as possible at home, until he had to go into hospital right at the end. My dad was my hero, and I am such a daddy's girl even though I'm 50. The thought of losing him broke my heart every single day. I didn't think I would be able to cope and the fear and anxiety was crushing me over the last few months. Its true that we feel grief even before losing our loved ones. The end finally came, and although I was broken hearted, it was calm and peaceful and I knew that my dad was out of pain and suffering. I felt relief wash over me that he could finally rest. Its harder to watch someone you love suffer, than to see them at peace. I miss him every day and think about him all the time, but now, 6 months later , I can finally smile at the good memories and the awful ones are fading. You will get through this. You will do the very best for your mum and find the strength. I wish you love and strength on this journey, and know you're not alone. Good luck xx

Snow6 over 2 years ago

I’m in the same position as you at the moment, I’m desperately trying to hide my grief in front of my dad but it’s so difficult when I know what’s coming. I can’t help but feel resentful when I see my friends happy and laughing when my world has come crashing down around me. Concentrating at work is nearly impossible and I just don’t want to socialise with any of my friends at the moment xx

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