Hi, I have just stumbled on this forum - I have been a carer for my father and now my son and I am struggling to find emotional support - sadly my father passed away to cancer after a long battle 8 years ago. Two years after losing my dad, my son at 17 was diagnosed with a rare incurable cancer - which involves continuous screening and surgeries- he has lost the sight in his right eye, has multiple renal tumours and is later in the year facing brain surgery… unfortunately this has become our new life…as the tumours continue to grow. I have had to adapt careers and ways of working to survive financially. We regularly travel 80 miles for screenings and surgeries - a long way from home and friends. Both my son and I have found the distance and changes in friendships due to his diagnosis difficult - many friends have disappeared or do not know what to say so just don’t get in touch… Due to the rare cancer it is not widely recognised or understood. Unfortunately I have no able family to support us or friends with time to help with logistics of getting to and from hospitals and support during surgeries. My sons father died unexpectedly last year and this has also caused a rift between siblings - and they have little involvement and are dealing with their own grief.
Being a carer for a family member is often difficult but I personally wouldn’t want it any other way. However the amount of emotions carers go through and complexities of balancing these emotions alongside work, finances and logistics are some of the hardest challenges. I hope there are people here who understand and can comprehend the struggles and we can find a way to support and find solace from each other.
Today has been particularly challenging following a call from the consultant - balancing which surgery takes priority and the risks involved. The consultant discusses this with me due to my sons high anxiety and depression. I have felt quite alone, fearful and sad… despite being resilient - some days are difficult. Which is why I thought this forum may be of some support… and wanted to share my story. Thank you for reading and whatever you are going through- you are not alone. BW
Many thanks for your kind words- some days are very difficult and support is always lovely and needed during those tough days… and the forum is a nice way to connect - so thank you! yes I spoke with MacMillan today and sometimes it’s just good to download. Finding strength and energy is a constant need especially when so close to your family member. so I guess it’s inevitable to have days when you crash…- although it is even harder for my son - who is such a warrior - now I will focus on restoring my battery and become more positively charged… for some time at least. Thank you and hugs to all of you facing these difficult days too 
